


The Man In The Mirror

by Wearenotalright



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anorexia, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, M/M, Mind Control, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-03-29 11:14:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3894286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wearenotalright/pseuds/Wearenotalright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank is just trying to get by in the world, he's just trying to get by without anyone seeing him. He has a dangerous secret that he wants to keep hidden from the world. Soon Frank's secret slowly gets exposed and he finally finds someone he can let in, the man who owns his favorite book store. The more Frank reveals to the owner, Gerard Way, the more Gerard starts to feel his past rise up.  Can Gerard keep cool under pressure or will he break like a fragile mirror?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the first chapter seems like frank's mother is a big part of the story but she's really not. i just wanted to get a lot of background in about frank's life. she also (kinda) seems like a bad person but she's not as bad as i play her into the beginning. she plays into the story but not as much as it seems. frank's a bitter teenager, so he targets his mother. The story's main focus is about control. I think I wrote a lot about her cuz I put my personal experience with that issue with my own mother. Either way she's not really in it too much. Franks thought process is seriously fucked up. A lot more is going to devolpe :p

Looking back at the man in the mirror makes Frank sick to his stomach. He wants to punch the mirror. He hates the reflection that he sees glaring at him. The man in the mirror is laughing at him. He's telling him all the words that he knows are oh so true, yet no one will ever tell him the words. He puts on a good front, on the outside Frank looks like your typical moody teenager, so fucking _cliché_ but it works for him. No one questions why he's in the bathroom for hours. Most of the time, when he's in the bathroom, he's having silent arguments with himself in the mirror. The man in the mirror always wins though.

 

The man in the mirror tells him that no one gives a shit about him. The man in the mirror tells him that he's fat. The man in the mirror tells him that he needs to stop fucking eating so much. That he needs to get some control over himself and his life. The man in the mirror tells him that everyone is out to get him, he tells him that they control him because they want to break him down. The man in the mirror tells him that he can skip eating today. That he should skip eating tomorrow as well...

 

From since the day he was born, someone has tried to control Frank. Everyone always wants to make his choices for him. Growing up Frank was a very sick child, his earliest memories are with doctors and hospitals. Trying to find a cure for whatever issue Frank was having inside his body. His body seems to reject him in every way possible. His mother is the worst. She controls everything in Frank's life. She always tells him what's best for him, every little fucking thing. If Frank wanted to wear jeans she would tell him to wear slacks. If he wanted to try out for baseball she would force him to try out for soccer. Everything (apparently) was for his own good. She fucking tells him everything he needs to do.

It doesn't end with his mother, either. His entire life is ran by other people. Everyone seems to know what's best for Frank, besides Frank. Apparently he just can't think for himself.

 

It's not that his mother was a bad person, she really wasn't. She's a very sweet woman who does have good intentions for her son. She wants what's best for him and she wants to keep him safe from the outside world. Almost too safe.

 

* * *

 

 

“Aren't you going to eat, Frank?” Frank's friend, Ray says to him, but Frank is barely paying attention to his curious friend. He keeps looking down at his plate of poison.

 

“What? Oh- yeah,” Frank mumbled back Ray. Ray is one of Frank's best friends. That doesn't say too much though, Frank doesn't have many friends. He just doesn't really get along with many people. Every time he befriends someone he feels them trying to control him. Just like everyone seems to want to do. Once he feels like they're trying to control him he cuts them off and never speaks to them again.

 

Ray isn't like that though, he doesn't try to get inside Frank's mind and he's thankful for that. He doesn't even know if he can consider Ray a friend. They don't hang out after school, they just talk to each other in school. Frank doesn't see anyone outside school. Ray probably feels bad for the boy, he pities him. Frank can just feel it.

 

The only thing Frank can control is food. No one can tell him when he should eat. Even if they do, he'll just go to the bathroom and throw it all up. He wants some sort of control over his life, which is exactly why Frank chooses simply not to eat. No one ever thinks a boy can have body issues. It makes it easier for him to keep his dirty little secret. It makes it easier to control his body. He will never let anyone get in between him and his lack of eating. No one will ever understand. When Frank was 13 he started to gain weight, he started to get a belly and it drove him crazy. It was then he told himself he'll go to bed without dinner. He made his mother believe he ate when he didn't. He loved the feeling of hunger pains. He loved the way his stomach felt being empty. It was that day he found something he could control.

 

No one will ever control his body. They can control his life, they can control what he wears or how he even fucking thinks, but they will never control his body. He has full control over his body. No one will ever take that from him.

 

Frank looks down at his lunch, a simple salad and a bag of chips. He doesn't really have any intention on actually eating the disgusting food. He doesn't really intend to put the slop inside his body, creating fat. That's all he sees when he sees food, he sees fat. He sees himself gaining weight. He sees his skin stretching. He sees himself getting ugly.

 

“Okay, man. You've been spacing out all day today, you alright?” Ray asks him, with concern.

 

“Yeah, I'm cool...” Frank says back to him and thankfully Ray drops it and goes back to eating his own food.

 

Thankfully Frank goes the rest of lunch hour without having to eat his food and he reads his newest book that he grabbed from the local book store.

 

The rest of the day at school goes the same for him, go to whatever class his schedule assigned him, writes his notes down, and blends in so no one bothers him. For the most part it works. No one really wants to talk to him, he never has anything interesting to say to people. He doesn't want to be bothered by them, they don't want to be bothered by him. It works perfectly. Frank keeps his head low and stays away from people. People give him anxiety, the fear people will find what he's really like scares the shit out of him. He doesn't want help, so he doesn't go looking for it.

 

* * *

 

It's 3PM and Gerard is walking up to his book store, with his coffee in his right hand and the keys in his left hand, his paperwork between his lips, trying to juggle all the things in his arms. After a few tries he finally opens the door to the shop, “Helena's Vintage Books”. The store was originally owned by his grandmother, Elena. She always liked to be called Helena, so over the years her name just became Helena. Grandma Helena is too sick to take care of the shop though, so she turned it over to the only person she could trust enough to run her beloved book store, Gerard. Gerard was her oldest grandson. He shared her love of books and art. He was the perfect person to care for the store, Gerard was responsible and organized. She knows she can trust him with her store. The book store is Helena's entire life. She worked so hard to save up enough money to open up the store. Besides her loving family, books are what Helena lives for.

 

Gerard hasn't changed much since he became the official owner of the store. He kept it the way his grandmother had it. She made it simple, with a touch of her own self to it. The walls were dark brown and there wasn't much light, because the curtains are a little dark. She wanted it to have a vintage feel to it. The floor is light brown carpet. The entire store looks like it was built in the 1930's. She wanted it to have that feel the second you walk into the store and she succeeded that feel. There's something about a small, vintage looking book store that makes you feel at ease.

 

Along with books, Helena's Vintage Books sells coffee and snacks. It also has a comic book section, which is Gerard's favorite place in the entire store. His grandmother originally started the comic book section for her grandchildren, knowing they love comic books so much. Even at age 22, the comic book section is still Gerard's favorite place in the store.

 

The only thing he did change was the store hours. His grandmother is an early bird, she's up and ready for the day at 7AM. Gerard on the other hand, sleeps late and doesn't function before 12PM and at least one cup of coffee. He doesn't know how his grandmother was able to open the store so early, but he knew once he became the owner he was changing that. Plus, not many people are interested in coming to a book store at the early hours of the day, so he changed the opening time for the store 3PM to 11PM Monday through Thursdays. Friday and Saturdays he opens a little earlier, at 1PM and closes at 10PM. Sunday is when the store is closed all day. His grandmother never wanted the store to be open on Sunday. She always said Sunday is when you should be with your family and friends. It's not a day to go out, it's a day to stay in and relax. Gerard doesn't argue with that, that means he can sleep in as late as he wants.

 

Most days though, he doesn't sleep in on Sundays. Lately he's been going to the hospital on Sundays to visit his grandmother who's currently admitted into the hospital with pneumonia. Gerard's grandmother means the world to him, he cares so much about her. He would be so lost without her. She's taught him so much, gave him advise when he needed it. She was there for him when he felt like he had no one in this world. Even when he was having issues with himself and he was suicidal, she was there and she never judged him on whatever issues he was going through. She listened to him and held him when he needed it the most. He's always been very truthful with his grandmother. He's never lied to her, he was always honest with her. Even if he wanted to lie to her, she would find a way to get the truth out of him. She knows her grandson so well. Ironically, she can read him like a book.

 

It's Thursday, it's not a really busy day at the store but it's also not a slow day. Most of the time he gets college students trying to find a good book to write for their paper. A lot of times he'll have people ask him if they have a certain book the stock or not. His job can get pretty boring at times, but it is what it is.

 

Currently Gerard is behind the counter watching the store making sure nothing bad is happening. Thankfully he doesn't have thugs enter the store and try to rob him or cause any harm. No one really wants to go to a book store to steal. The most that would happen a costumer would get angry when they try to get an item for a cheaper price, but he doesn't budge. He's not changing the price for no one. At that point they either give in and pay the price they don't want to or they leave, telling them they're going to another store to get the item for a cheaper price, he's learned to not let it get to him. Not everyone is nice, he learned being an owner of a book store.

 

* * *

 

Frank hates it when he has to come home to his mother, but he really has no other choice. His mother forces him to come home right after school. He can't stay later for any reason unless approved. Most of the time she'll tell him no, that if he needs any extra help he should come to her. She tells him all the time that he doesn't _need_ teachers extra help, she tells him he needs to get help from her. _She_ knows what's best for her son, not some _teacher._

 

As soon as he entered the house his mother was in the living room, watching some random show she found on the television. It feels like a bad routine, everyday. He would go to school, pretend he was somewhat okay, come home to his mother. At least at school he has some sort of control, he doesn't have anyone down his back, barking orders to him or telling him what to do all the time. He's very thankful for school, as much as he hates it sometimes, he's thankful for the place. He gets away from _her._

 

“Hello, Frankie,” his mother said, turning her attention to him instead of the television, “how was school?”

 

“It was school,” he mumbled, sitting down next to her like he does everyday.

 

“What do you have for homework, dear?”

 

“I have creative writing homework.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yes,” he breathed, she's already starting, she's already starting to probe her way into his life, he fucking hates it. He just wants her to go the fuck away.

 

“I- I have to read a book and write about the book and what lesson it taught me. I have 6 weeks to write about it.”

 

Frank's mother hates his creative writing class, it wasn't a class he _needed_ to graduate, but it was something that Frank wanted and she hates that she couldn't stop it. His English teacher last year recommended it, telling him that he has a unique writing style and a true gift. Frank's mom knew if she tried to forbid him to take the class the teachers would see her as evil, because what asshole wouldn't let their child do something they want to do? She doesn't want to seem like some controlling bitch, because in her eyes, she's not. In her eyes she's a saint. Who would want to forbid their kid to something creative and fun?

 

Crazy control freaks who want to keep all tabs on their child, that's who.

 

“Well, I guess that means we're going to have to go to the book store and get you a book, huh?” She said harshly as she got up from the couch, leaving Frank alone on the couch as she went into the kitchen. He knew better than to follow her, he wasn't allowed to. Not unless she tells him to come over to her. She would tell him when to come over to her. That's how his entire life went, follow orders, be good, _behave and obey._

 

Frank stays silent as he hears his mother ruffle around the kitchen doing whatever she's doing in there. He keeps his head down still, not moving his body at all. He's become used to staying still as stone. It's easier to stay still as stone than to get yelled at for moving.

 

“I guess that means I have to waste money on some book for you, isn't it?” His mother called from the kitchen.

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

He automatically regretted speaking back to her, he's so fucking stupid! That wasn't a question he was supposed to answer, he knows that by now, why the fuck did he do that? That was so stupid on his part…

 

He kept his head down and eyes shut tight, his body trembling, anxiety pulsing through his veins. He can barley breathe and he's so scared for his life. He hears her heels slowing coming over to him but he doesn't open his eyes in fear that would set her off and make his life even worse. His mother never hit him, but she scared the shit out of him. She made his body tremble, his blood freeze. She didn't have to hit him in order to hurt him. She knows exactly what to do. She knows her son so well. She knows what to do to get him to follow her rules.

 

“Get in the car,” she simply said, Frank slowly opened his eyes and saw her walking over to her purse to grab her car keys. Frank is well over the age where he should have his own car, but then that would mean she would have to teach him to drive and she's too scared that someone is going to try to kill him while he's on the road.

 

He still has no idea where he's going once he's in the car with his mother, he just looks out the window as she drives to wherever she has her mind set on. The time in the car is when he spends his time daydreaming. It's pretty much his favorite thing to do, he dreams for a better life. He dreams for days where he doesn't have to worry so much. Dreaming of days where he owns his own house, so he sets his own rules. His entire life has been like this, he has to follow the rules or else he would get it. She would never hit him, but she would make him feel like shit if he tries to follow his own rules. She would tell him how she does this for his own good so he doesn't turn into a wild animal like all the rest off the teenage boys. She tells him she knows exactly what he needs, because she's his mother and she knows what he needs.

 

Frank doesn't see it like that, he doesn't see where she's coming from. If anything, it's making Frank turn into a total mess. It's gotten worse over the years, once she realized she can control everything. She's got him right where we wants him. Frank gave up a long time ago to fight, he gave up trying to be his own person. He knows his place in this world and that's his mother's doormat. Following her rules, doing what she wants him to.

 

Before he knows it his mother stopped the car and turned it off. He looks and sees that they're at the book store and his heart leaps happily. He love coming to the book store. It's the only place he feels like he's at home. They're at Helena's Vintage Books and that makes him even more happy. He fucking loves this place. They have all the rare novels that Frank loves to read, he loves rare novels that no one's ever heard of before. They also have amazing coffee that Frank drinks way too much of whenever he can sneak his way into the store. It's a huge risk, sneaking off to come here but he can't help it. He loves coming here.

 

What worries him though, is that he's never been here with his mother. She's going to make his enjoyable time here hell. She will sense that he loves the place and do everything she can to take that happiness and crush it, like she always does. She always crushes his dreams. She ruins everything. She doesn't mean it and he knows that, it's just the way she comes off as. He's so bitter when it comes to his mother because when she gets close to something that Frank enjoys she finds some way to turn into something evil.

 

He slowly steps into the store and tries his best to cover up his excitement. His mother takes his hand like he's some sort of child, “I don't want you out of my sight, you hear me? We're going to get your book you need and leave.”

 

Frank nods and feels his cheeks burn, he feels like a child. His mother is holding his hand like some sort of baby who can't be trusted to be out of their mother's sight. He feels like his chest is on fire and now he can't breathe. He doesn't know if he can even move at this point, his nerves completely taking over his body.

 

“Come on, Frank, don't make this difficult. Move,” she orders as she starts to walk fast so he's actually being dragged. He finally gets his footing correctly and he's walking side by side with his mother, trying to find a decent novel to write about.

 

Walking down the aisles his heart feels like it's going to sprout out of his chest, he cannot breathe. His stomach is clenching around him, telling him that he needs to eat but he refuses to let food enter his body. His mother's breathing is making it really hard to find a book, all he thinks is that the book he wants to pick she's going to tell him no and that he needs to read another one, a novel that she approves of. She's ruining the one place that makes Frank happy. She's going to take it away.

 

“Stop shaking, Frank,” his mother hissed at him, “you're going to cause a scene.”

 

“I'm – I’m sorry, mom.”

 

“I didn't ask for an apology, Frank. I'm asking you to stop fucking _shaking_ so no one thinks I'm hurting you.”

 

Now he knows he's in serious shit. She's going to remain clam here but once we get to the house he knows the clam before the storm will be gone and she's going to rip him apart for being such an ungrateful little shit.

 

“I'm going to the bathroom, Frank. Find me once you see a book you want so I can go over it. I don't want you reading anything too graphic.”

 

He doesn't say anything to her, he just nods his head and watches her walk off and go to the bathroom. He finally feels like he can breathe again and that he can find a novel that he wants to read. He knows he doesn't have much time to try to find something. She's letting him find a book on his own, so that means he's got to rush it and find something fast. That means she doesn't want to be here and that she wants to go home already. She doesn't want to spend the rest of the day in the book store and she'll blame him for wasting her day. She would never leave him alone in the store, which Frank wouldn't mind. She doesn't trust anyone, she would think someone is going to try to jump him.

 

* * *

 

Frank's staring at his computer in his creative writing class, trying to get the words to form on the blank white screen but he can't seem to even write his name.

 

His mother forced him to eat last night and his stomach is fucking killing him. Normally he could push the food around his plate as she rambles about college and how he needs to keep his grades up, but last night she watched him eat. She didn't leave the kitchen until he ate everything that she made for him. Usually she would leave, getting tired of waiting for him to finish and go to the den to do paperwork for her next case. Yesterday though, she said she was worried about his eating habits and waited until he finished the chicken cutlets and mashed potatoes. There was no way in getting her to leave, even after he tried to pretend he cared about her sleep and told her she should get some rest. She didn't move, she just watched as Frank forced the food down his throat. Every bite he swallowed he felt his stomach turn against him.

 

“Frank? Frank are you okay?”

 

Frank turned his head and saw his teacher behind him. Frank just nodded his head and looked back on the screen. He didn't realize he wrote something, he wrote “HELP ME.”

 

“Uh- yeah, Mr. Anderson, I'm fine.” Frank said back, quickly erasing the words he formed on the computer, feeling his face turn red from embarrassment.

 

“I think it's best to stay after class and see me so we can chat.” His teacher said, rubbing his shoulder lightly, walking off without waiting for Frank to say anything back to him. Sighing he looks back at the computer, it remains blank for the entire time he's here.

 

Frank's heart is racing. He feels like his chest is about to cave in, creative writing is his last period and if he gets home too late his mother is going to freak the fuck out on him. She's going to tell him she was worried sick and that she thought someone tried to mug him. She's always so worried that someone is going to hurt him. She believes that the entire world is after her and Frank it causes her to be like this, Frank's convinced. There's no other reason for someone to be so controlling and so scared of everything. She fully believes that someone is trying to hurt Frank, when in reality, no one is hurting him.

 

No one but himself, at least.

 

He hears the bell to leave and he watches all the other students leave and rush to their cars or the bus to get home and go on with their lives. Frank stays in his seat and doesn't even move. He can even feel his blood pulse through his veins. He doesn't move, his body is too tense to move. He doesn't know why his teacher is so concerned in him. His job is to teach Frank creative writing, nothing more, nothing less. He shouldn't try to get inside Frank's head, it's a dangerous place. He doesn't want to go down that road. He doesn't want to try this, because all what's going to happen is Frank is going to push him away and never talk to the man again, probably even transfer out of the class.

 

“So Frank,” his teacher starts up, making sure all the students are now gone and he closes the door, Frank feels a lump in his throat.

 

“What's going on, man?” His teacher asks him, taking a seat next to Frank. Frank doesn't move though, he just keeps his head down.

 

“Frank, come on, don't make this hard. Are you okay? Are you going through something?”

 

Frank doesn't say anything to him, he just keeps his eyes on his hands. He feels his eyes water and he knows he's a second away from a breakdown. No one's ever tried to help him, everyone's always left him alone. Today though, is different. His teacher cares. He's trying to help him, someone is actually showing they care about him without him having to follow some sort of order to follow along with it. At home, his mother gives him all the love he needs, sometimes it's a little too much love. She'll fill him with love as long he does what he's told. There's no other way he'll get love.

 

“You're too tense, Frank,” his teacher mumbled, moving from his seat, standing behind Frank. He feels his teachers strong hands on his shoulders as he starts to rub his shoulders and neck, causing Frank to become putty in his teachers hands.

 

“That feel nice, Frank?” His teacher whispered, moving his hands down lower to his back. Frank just nods his head, closing his eyes, enjoying the feeling of his body slowly loosen up, his teacher was right, he was very tense.

 

“You're such a good kid, Frank,” the older man mumbled into his ear, making Frank shutter from the sudden closeness.

 

Frank has a bad feeling about this, a teacher shouldn't be giving students back rubs. He knows he should run away from this but he can't help but love the feeling. His body feels like it's at rest for once in his life, he's always on edge, trying to do everything in his power to stay away from people, staying away from everyone but his mother. He knows this is wrong, but he can't bring it to tell the man no.

 

“I am?” Frank asked his teacher.

 

The feeling of strong hands left his back and he whimpered, missing the feeling that his teacher was giving him. His teacher moved over so he's directly in front of Frank, “yes you are, you do everything you're told. You're such a good boy.”

 

Frank's eyes lit up, no one's ever called him a good boy before, he always did what his mother told him to but she never praised him for being good. Hearing someone say something so sweet to him put his heart into over drive. He hasn't felt this happy in so long, almost never. He doesn't think he's ever been this happy. Maybe when he was younger and his father was around, but that's really it. He's never had someone say such kind, sweet, loving words to him. He feels like he's on top of the world. He feels _happy_. He feels like he can trust his teacher into his world.

 

“No one's ever told me I was a good boy before,” Frank said back to his teacher.

 

“Well you are, Frank, you do what you're told, don't you?” His teacher asked, moving closer to him. His heart races a little faster. Frank nods his head slowly.

 

His teacher is looking at him up and down and it's starting to make him feel a little uncomfortable, he feels his teacher's eyes trace every inch of his body. His eyes are hungry and Frank is the bait, he's frozen in time. He doesn't move, he just lets his teacher trace his body with his eyes. He wants to be a good boy. He doesn't like it when people look at him, especially when he knows they're looking at him like he's some sort of prey. This is exactly what his mother warned him about, bad people. He knows this is bad. He knows his teacher is bad. But he doesn't move. He wants to be good. His mother taught him to be a good boy, so he's doing just that.

 

“You know,” his teacher starts, leaning down so he's eye level with Frank, “you're terribly pretty.”

 

“I should go!” Frank scrambles, trying to get up from his seat, but his teacher stopped him, putting him back down in his seat. Frank looks up at the older man and sees cold, his eyes turned cold and evil. The older, much larger man has turned on him, just like his mother would always tell him. _All men are evil Frank, that's why I'm glad I raised you right!_

 

“You're not going anywhere, Frank. I know all about your eating disorder.”

 

Frank's blood stops, everything in him stops and he looks at his teacher, full of fear. His teacher could ruin everything he's worked so hard for, he's worked so hard keeping control of his weight. It's the only thing he's actually proud of. His weight is the only thing he has in his life that he doesn't have someone else controlling. His teacher can't take that away from him, he just can't! That's all he has left. Everything else in his life is falling apart but his weight. He can't let someone take that away!

 

“Wh- what do you mean?” Frank said to him, trying to figure out if he's bluffing or not.

 

“That's right, Frank. I know all about it. I noticed your weight drop, do you think I'm stupid?”

 

He doesn't wait for Frank to say anything back to him, he just steps closer to him, Frank knows he's trapped and there's nothing he can really do about it. If he tries to run, he will tell someone about how he stopped eating and everything he worked so hard for will be lost. His mother would be so upset with him. He feels like his chest is caving in, he's truly trapped.

 

“If you're a good boy, I'll keep your secret safe with me,” the older predator says to him, slowly undoing his belt, with a disgusting smirk on his face.

 

“Just be good and do what you're told.”

 

* * *

 

Gerard feels like he's going to fall asleep at the counter at the store, there's not one person in here and the radio has the same shitty songs that they always have. It drains him and causes him to get tired. He's already done everything that he needs to do for the day, he's taken care of the numbers, done inventory. He's cleaned the entire place head to toe. He's even wrote all the checks that he's had to write to keep the store up. He's called the hospital to say hello to his grandmother. There's nothing else to do. He's officially bored.

 

He wants someone to come into the store, at least then he'll have someone to help if they need his help. But who wants to come into the store when it's such a beautiful day out? Everyone's out doing things for themselves while he's in the store ready to lose his fucking mind.

 

Sighing, he goes under the desk and grabs his sketch pad out, he might as well draw something to pass the time. He has nothing else to do. He's not drawing anything special. Just random sketches he had floating through his mind. Normally he has some huge idea inside his creative mind. Lately though, he can't seem to put his mind on track to do a project. He's been to busy taking care of all his grandmother's needs and keeping up with the store to start up a new project. On the outside Gerard looks like a clam, cool and collective type of person but really inside he's a total mess. He's only 22 and he feels like he's 50 with all these responsibilities. It's not that he hates it, he really doesn't. There's nothing he wouldn't do for his grandmother. Sometimes it's just hard because he wasn't ready to grow up so fast.

 

After what feels like _hours_ , he hears the little bell ring from the door to tell him that someone has entered the store. He quickly puts his sketch pad away and puts a huge, fake smile on his face. It's a little sad how excited he is that someone has came into the store, he can't help it though. He's been bored for hours and finally there's someone else in the store with him.

 

Soon his smile drops though, the person who entered the store broke his heart. The man, who can't be any older than 17 looks like a walking corpse. He's so skinny, he looks like he's going to break. It hurts Gerard to see the boy like this, he looks so broken. Like he's lost the war. He doesn't even look at Gerard when he walks into the store. He goes straight to the back of the store. This alarms Gerard, not that this boy might rob him or hurt him, he doesn't think he's going to be doing that. He's just worried, what if the boy is a drug addict and he's trying to use the bathroom to get his fix? He's not going to let someone use his store to get high in. There's no way in hell he is going to allow that.

 

Gerard leaves his counter at the front and slowly follows the boy without looking like he's trying to catch the boy in some sort of crime. He watches the boy from a distance. He's looking at the science fiction section in the store, keeping his head down. He looks like he's been running too, his face is red and he can see the boy's chest move up and down quickly, trying to catch his breath.

 

Clearing his throat, Gerard ask the boy if he wants a glass of water, which alarms the boy. He looks up at Gerard with wide eyes. Now he can see why the boy ran so fast to be seen. He was crying, his face wet with tears. The sight alone shatters Gerard's heart. This boy looks so _defeated._ Like he's given up. He looks emotionless in a way, like he's completely numb. The boy doesn't say anything to Gerard though. He just keeps looking at him.

 

“Do you need help with something, kid?”

 

The skinny boy doesn't say anything at first, he just looks at Gerard with sad, wide eyes. Fresh tears flowing down his cheeks. You can clearly tell that the boy wants to spill his entire heart out but there's something stopping him. He doesn't want to tell Gerard why he's crying but it looks like it's about to spill out like vomit. He looks sick. His clothes are way too big on him and it looks like he hasn't ate in weeks. Was he homeless? He didn't look dirty. He looks like he showers, but why is he so skinny? Maybe he was naturally skinny. Gerard's brother is very thin and his brother can eat anyone under the table. He's secretly extremely envious of his brothers fast metabolism.

 

“I'm okay, I promise.”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm really bad at non-con. i'm sorry if this sucks! i hope you enjoy it tho. please tell me what you guys think xox

The guidance office is stuffy, it smells like old perfume that some old lady put on and it's just staying in the air. It's making Frank feel sick to his stomach and gag from the disgusting smell. He doesn't even want to be here right now, he just wants to be anywhere but here. He doesn't want to talk about college. He doesn't want to talk about what he should be doing with his life. What's the point, anyway? He doesn't have any idea what he wants to do with his life. He's not good at anything. His mother wants him to become a lawyer just like her. He doesn't want to be a lawyer though. He doesn't want to argue with people for a living and try to send people to jail. He doesn't want to anything with math, he's terrible at math. Frank is incredibly gifted in writing, but he doesn't want to become a writer. There's nothing that sparks him to do with his life. He's not like other students who have a general idea. He has no idea.

 

He wants to be left alone, that's exactly what he wants. He wants people to get the _fuck_ off his back and leave him the hell alone.

 

“Frank Iero?” The old lady with way too much makeup calls, telling him that he's next to be seen.

 

Frank slowly gets off the sticky chair that he was sitting in for way too long and walks over to his guidance counselor's office. Her name is Ms. Young and he doesn't even have any idea who she is. He does everything he can to stay away from this office. They always try to pry into his life and it just pisses him off. They always want to get inside his head and find out what's wrong with him. There's nothing wrong with him, he just wants everyone to stop trying to control his every move. He wants to tell everyone this, he wants to tell the world to get off his back. He lost his voice though, he lost how to speak and how to tell people what's been on his mind. He doesn't remember how to. He just lets everyone walk all over him like he's some doormat.

 

Walking slowly, he enters her office. She has a simple office, it's an off white color with pictures of past students that she's had. On her desk you can see the picture of her family, she has a daughter and a son, her son looks older, maybe around 20. Her daughter is a little younger, looking at 12 years old. Her family looks so happy and it puts a ping in Frank's heart knowing his family would never look this happy. She has a husband who looks like a good man. All of Frank's family photos are just him and his mother, his mother has a forced smile on her face, trying to keep her small family together while Frank doesn't have an emotion on his face.

 

“So, I have your transcripts here, Frank,” she starts saying with a wide smile. “You're a very bright student.”

 

Frank jut nods his head in agreement with her even though he doesn't agree with her. He's actually not really that smart. He's pretty stupid, actually. He just has to bust his ass so his mother gets off his back.

 

“Do you have any colleges in mind? Do you have a major?” She asks, already prying into him. It's making Frank's stomach turn and it gives him anxiety. Even speaking to other people cause him to get anxiety. He doesn't remember what to tell people.

 

“My mom wants me to become a lawyer.” Frank says, barely above a whisper.

 

“Do you want to do that?”

 

“I don't know.”

 

“Well, what do you want?”

 

“Mom says to become a lawyer.”

 

Ms. Young just looks at Frank. He can already tell that she's trying to figure him out and it's making him terribly uncomfortable. Her eyes are telling him that she's going to ask about his family life, ask about what why he's so quiet and why he can't answer simple questions. He doesn't want to be here, he feels like his chest is caving in and he lost all ability to speak. She's going to ask if his mom is a good woman and if he's ever been hurt. She's going to ask him if he's depressed and if there's anything they she can do to help him. He can already feel it. She wants to say something to him, her voice is ready to spill out a million personal questions. He's just happy he didn't eat for days so there's nothing to throw up even if he wanted to.

 

“Well, there's a great law program in Hartford.”

 

As usual, no one tries to figure what _he_ wants. She doesn't try to see if she can get it out of him to speak about what he wants to do. She doesn't even try, it's not even been 5 minutes and she's already given up on him. Did he expect anything different?

 

No.

 

* * *

 

 

“ _Gerard!_ ” The loud, male voice screams at him that belongs to his brother. He's currently downstairs in his room, reading some random book he grabbed from the book store. It's fucking Tuesday at 11:45AM, what the hell does his brother want? More importantly why the hell is he even here? Doesn't he have school?

 

Stomping upstairs he sees his brother standing in the kitchen, “Mikey, what the hell do you want? Why aren't you in school?”

 

“That's why I'm bothering you, I over slept. Mom and dad already left for work. I need a ride to school.”

 

“Mikey, you gotta stop over sleeping so much,” Gerard starts, “this is your last year for God's sake, just get it over with.”

 

“Whatever, mom. Can you just drive me to school?”

 

“It's already almost noon, why are you even _going_ to school?”

 

“Because I have a test last period and I just want to get it over with.” Mikey simply says back to his older brother.

 

Sighing heavily Gerard gets his shoes on and grabs his car keys. It's amazing how his brother just cannot pass his drivers test. Gerard passed first try, Mikey on the other hand, has failed it twice already. It's pretty annoying, seeing he has a car in his _driveway_.

 

Gerard hates it when he has to drive his brother to school. He wants to stay as far away from the place as he can. He doesn't ever want to return here, but of course, annoying school regulations, he's got to sign his brother in school. The drive to the school was quiet besides the faint David Bowie playing through his stereo. The Way family doesn't live too far from the school so the drive isn't long.

 

Gerard parks his car at the front of the building that looks exactly the same since he's been there 4 years ago. Walking up to the building with his little brother besides him they go into the doors and head over to the guidance office to sign his brother in.

 

“Good morning, late?” The lady at the desk asks the both of them. It wasn't the first time that Gerard has dropped Mikey off and they believe he's a student here as well. It happens to him a lot actually. He always has problems even buying a pack of cigarettes because he has such a young looking face.

 

“Just me,” his brother says back to the woman, “this is my older brother, he's singing me in.”

 

The lady nods her head and goes into the computer to open up his brothers file, “name?”

 

“Michael Way.”

 

Gerard looses his attention of what's going on with Mikey and the lady at the front desk. He's looking around the office, it still has that same look and feel to it. It still has the same posters that he remembers seeing when he was a student here. The same ugly blue walls, the same counselor here. It's all the same. It doesn't surprise him either. Belleville High School never has any money to redo anything. They always have to reuse old supplies and never have the money to repaint the place. The office and building itself looks straight out the 60's.

 

There's some students sitting down, waiting to be called. It's April so that means all the seniors are getting prepared to be put into college. Gerard hated dealing with all the college bullshit. He wanted to go to art school, that's all he wanted but they wanted to make sure he knew all his options. He always told them to leave him alone and that he knows what school he'll be going to, the School Of Visual Arts in Manhattan. He went to New York right after he graduated. He loved college, his teachers praised him and kept pushing his artistic limits and it's exactly what he wanted from them. They would tell him all the time that he was gifted and if he keeps up with it that he could get a great career in art.

 

He dropped out.

 

“Michael, you don't even need to be in school today,” the secretory says with a light laugh, “today is the day you speak to your guidance counselor about college.”

 

Now Gerard's pissed off. He didn't even have to fucking come here? He would’ve just stayed home and went to see the guidance counselor when he went back to school. He's so fucking annoyed because at this point he might as well stay here until Mikey is done talking to the woman about his college plans, which Mikey is going to tell the woman that he doesn't want to do anything and he's going to continue to play bass in his band that he's formed with his friends.

 

That leaves Gerard to take a seat in a chair on the side where all the other students aren't, he doesn't need anyone thinking he's still in school and he needs to speak to someone. Mikey goes to sit with the other students and Gerard sulks in his own misery for being awake and at his old high school.

 

Something catches his eyes though, he sees the boy he saw a few days ago in his book store. The boy who looks like he hasn't ate a thing in his entire life. He's speaking to a guidance counselor. Just like when he saw him in the store, he looks miserable. He looks like he just wants to escape from her. The woman is handing him a bunch of papers and she's talking to him but you can clearly tell he's not even listening to her. He's just keeping his head down, trying not to look at anyone. It hurts Gerard to see this boy. He looks so depressed and lonely. It hurts his heart because not too long ago, he looked just like the boy. He didn't like seeing it on the other side. He can see why it broke his parents' heart to see their son look so broken, so helpless.

 

* * *

 

 

“Come here, Frank.” Mr. Anderson orders Frank as he was about to leave for the day. Of course he couldn't escape the man. He's forced to stay after school everyday and let his teacher violate him in so many disgusting ways. It kills Frank to stay after, all he wants to do is run and tell someone about what's going on, but he can't. He can't do it, because then his secret will be out and he can't risk that. It makes everything in his life worse. He didn't think his life could get any worse, but of course, a dark cloud follows Frank around and makes everything worse for him. The big man upstairs is really testing him to commit suicide and end his miserable life.

 

Slowly, Frank turns his heels around and looks at his teacher. He has a wicked smirk on his face and it angers Frank so much. He just wants to beat the ever living shit out of his teacher with his bare hands. He wants to cause massive injury to the older man.

 

His teacher closes the door and locks it, turning off the lights to make anyone else in the hallways to believe that no one is left inside the classroom. Frank wants to die.

 

Mr. Anderson doesn't even give Frank a second to breathe and he's pushing him down on his knees; Frank keeps his head low as he knows exactly what's going to happen next to him. He's become used to the abuse he endues. He's so used to it already and it makes him fucking _sick_ in more ways than one. Mr. Anderson is already undoing his belt and pulling his pants down.

 

“Bite it and you're fucking dead.” He tells Frank and takes out his half hark cock, pushing it inside Frank's mouth and Frank whimpers from the force. He starts to bob his head up and down on his teacher's dick, hoping to whatever God there is that he's going to finish quickly so he can run home and try to wash out the filth in his mouth.

 

“That's it,” his teacher moans, “such a good boy.”

 

Frank feels a tear slowly escape his eye as he keeps them closed so he doesn't have to see the older man. Before he knows it his teacher is forcing his mouth deeper and deeper inside his mouth, causing him to gag and almost choke. He doesn't let Frank get air though, he just starts to fuck his face making Frank feel like a worthless whore. It's days like these that kill Frank. He's on his knees in his teachers classroom, letting his teacher abuse his mouth like he's getting paid to do this. It makes Frank's sick to no end and he just wants to be anywhere but here. He doesn't try to run, he knows there's no use in trying to. His teacher has him right where he wants him. He knows Frank can't run and tell anyone, no one would believe an anorexic teenager.

 

With full force, he pulls Frank off him and Frank feels like he can almost breathe again. His face is red with and glossy with tears. Trying his best to catch his breath again but his teacher doesn't let him. His teacher has other plans for him.

 

“You're not finished just yet,” he taunts Frank, yanking him up by his hair, “you're so far from finished.”

 

Frank's eyes go wide as Mr. Anderson starts to pull at Frank's pants. Frank's eyes go wide with fear, he's never forced anything else but a blow job from Frank. He's starting to panic, pushing away from the older man.

 

“No! P-please. No!”

 

“Shut up!” He yells back at Frank, smacking him hard in the face, “don't piss me off, Iero. Do you want everyone to know you're a little faggot? Do you want me to tell everyone you're anorexic? I'll tell everyone Frank. Don't test me.”

 

He grabs Frank's pants again, roughly pushing down his pants and Frank is squirming around trying his best to get away from the man, but there's no use. He's so much bigger than him, so much stronger. He quickly turns Frank around so he's leaning over the desk and he feels his eye water instantly.

 

“Don't do this please!” Frank yells, but the bigger man doesn't listen to him. He turns his head and sees Anderson giving him a wicked grin. A true sadistic smile is on his face.

 

“You better start fucking listening to me, boy.” He says back to him, pulling out a small packet of lube from his pocket. Frank's heart stops and it becomes a reality, he knows his fate. He can't stop it, he doesn't have control over what's going on. He's officially lost all control.

 

Anderson pushes Frank's head so he's not looking at him anymore, smashing his face on the desk and he can already feel his nose being broken. Frank keeps his eyes closed, trying to prepare for what's about to happen to him. He's never thought he would be in this position. He would never think that that this would happen to him. His chest heaves as he feels the older mans cock force inside Frank's virgin body. Frank lets out a loud cry and grabs onto the desk like his life depended on it. His knuckles are turning white and his face is red from crying and breathing heavy. His body is on fire and his teacher isn't holding back, he keeps going faster and faster, rougher each thrust. Frank never though this would be his fate.

 

“Please stop!” Frank cries out, trying to get away from the man but it's no use. He's holding Frank's hips, surely causing ugly busies on his small frame.

 

“Be a good boy and take it, you fucking fat piece of shit.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is for you, Jatty. thank you for being such an amazing person <3

The room is spinning, all he can see is white and there's nothing he can do about it. All he sees is the toilet that he's clutching to like it's his lifeline and he can't let go. If he dares to move he's going to crumble down into little pieces. Just when he thinks it's all going well, something happens. Something always happens. Nothing can ever fucking go the right way that he wants it to. He always fucks something up, nothing can ever do the right way for him. He _tries_. He tries so fucking hard to make it all right. Why is everyone testing him? Why can't anyone just leave him alone?

 

He refuses to speak up, he lost his voice, his life, his smile. He has nothing left.

 

He just wants to see that boy again, no that _man_. He's clearly older than him. He just wants to see him. His eyes read that he can help. He is a _good_ person, he can just tell by his eyes and his smile. There's something inside that older man that just tells Frank that he's a good person and if he's going to speak out it should be to this man. The only problem is that Frank can't speak. He just can't. He can feel it on lips, he can feel the words lingering inside his mind and they almost make it to his lips but there's something that holds him back to go back to the store and talk to him, tell him everything that's going on his messed up life. His life that's out of control and no matter what he does he can't gain the control back.

 

Why would he want to talk to a messed up teenage boy who is acting like a little pathetic girl? Who wants to help out the boy who is anorexic _boy_ who lets his teacher fuck him and take all innocence away? The little tiny bit of hope Frank had left, his teacher stole from him. He's nothing but a stupid whore. He's willing to lose his virginity to his teacher just so he will keep his mouth shut about what he does to himself. Instead of being a good role model for Frank, the teacher just steals everything from him.

 

He's nothing but a whore, he's nothing but a fat, disgusting whore that will go on his knees for anyone who is willing to give him some sort of attention, because as much as he wants to deny, he loves the way his teacher looks at him with lust, he feels loved for that moment. It's mind fucking how much Frank loves the older man's moans as he touches Frank. For a moment, the broken boy feels like he's doing something right. He loves the attention he's receiving by doing what his teacher wants. Frank knows it's wrong, he should be scared for his life. But he's not, and the thought alone makes Frank sick to his stomach. He just wants someone to love him, he just wants someone who will love him and show him he's beautiful. He doesn't want to feel this way towards himself anymore, but he has no choice.

 

He has no voice.

 

* * *

 

 

“Helena's Vintage Books, this is Gerard speaking, how may I help you?”

 

“It's me.”

 

“Oh, hey Mikey,” Gerard said back into the phone. His brother usually bugs him a lot, so a phone call randomly when he's at work doesn't surprise him in the least.

 

“I have to do a project and I need a book,” Mikey said to his older brother on the other line.

 

“Well, I guess it's good your brother owns a book store, isn't it?” The older man says back to his brother. He can already see his brother rolling his eyes at his brother's sassy remark.

 

“Well the thing is my partner. He's fucking weird. He doesn't talk and no matter what I do I can't get the guy to talk.”

 

“That sounds like a personal problem, Mikey.” Gerard replied back to the younger boy.

 

“Asshole, I convinced him to come over after school, I just want you to walk in so you can get a good look on the kid. I'm a little worried, and you're really good at talking to messed up people.”

 

That ticked Gerard off, his brother always does this. He throws his past problems in his face without him knowing he does. He knows his brother isn't trying to bring him down, he knows he's not trying to be mean but he just fucking hates it how his brother speaks sometimes and doesn't think when he's talking. He knows exactly why his brother said he's good at talking to messed up people, because he was once messed up and he knows exactly how to deal with a problem child, as he once was one of them. How much longer is his brother going to throw it back in his face that his brother was once was pathetic excuse of a human being? It's not fair for Gerard, he's trying to move forward with his life and keep that part of his life behind, but Mikey talking about it all the time just doesn't help at all.

 

“Thanks,” Gerard mumbled back after a few seconds to breathe before he tore his brother a new asshole.

 

They finally got off the phone and Gerard went back to his usual work that he takes care of at the place.

 

* * *

 

 

_Stop being a pansy, Iero. It's just Mikey Way. He doesn't think anything is wrong with you._

 

Frank is freaking the fuck out, he doesn't like to go out. He doesn't like to see other people after school but he has no other choice in this manner. They have a project that needs to be done and if he lets his grades slip than he will never hear the end of it by his mother and he just doesn't want to deal with that at this moment in time. He just wants to be invisible so that no one will ever see him. Why do schools enforce group projects? People scare the fucking shit out of Frank. He gets anxiety being in school, but at least in school he can hide in the bathroom until he feels like he can come out. At Mikey's house, though, he can't run and hide. He's forced to do this.

 

Eventually, Frank has to get out of the school's bathroom. He's risking so much, he didn't stay after with his teacher so he can go this Mikey Way's house. He's in the bathroom trying to compose himself, trying to get his breathing even. The other boy is probably getting so annoyed waiting outside for him. He probably just wants to get this over with but as usual, Frank does something to prolong it. He always makes everything so fucking complicated. All he has to do is fucking go to his house, it's no big deal, but typical Frank Iero has to make shit complicated. He has so many questions and worries inside him and he's trying to talk himself down from a panic attack.

 

What if he tries to feed him? He can't say no, that will be rude. What if he smells Anderson on him? He'll know exactly what kind of person Frank truly is deep inside, than he'll try to get a piece of Frank. The sad thing is that Frank won't deny Mikey either. He won't deny anyone, because he's willing to go down on anyone. That's all he's good for. He's not smart, he just keeps his grades up for his mother's sake. He has no talents, the only thing he's good at is starving himself and going on his knees for anyone who will even say hello to him.

 

“Frank? Are you okay in there?” The other boy asks, knocking on the door of the bathroom. Frank quickly whips the single tear that was silently falling down his cheek and nods his head to himself and stepping outside.

 

“Sorry,” Frank mumbled looking down, “I think I ate something bad at lunch.”

 

Mikey glares at him through his glasses but says nothing to him. He just motions Frank to follow him.

 

“My house isn't too far from here and we'll start working on our project. My bother might be home but don't worry about him. If he bothers you just tell him to go away. He can get a little annoying.” Mikey says with a smile, and for some reason, it almost made Frank smile too.

 

The walk to the Way household wasn't that far or that bad. The sun was making Frank a little dizzy and he was wishing he had a bottle of water so he can hydrate himself. He knows he should slow down but he doesn't, too embarrassed to tell the other boy that he's feeling dizzy, he doesn't want Mikey to think he's a freak who can't even simply fucking walk. He doesn't know Mikey that well, but he doesn't want him to try and talk to him and feel pity for the boy. That or it could be worse, Mikey could make fun of him for being so pathetic.

 

They reach the house and it's a fairly medium sized house. It only has one floor and the front yard is a little small, but it looks comfortable. It looks like a good place to live. Frank's house may be large but he feels alone every time he's in his own home. It's empty and has no feel that a family lives there. It's like a house that's on display.

 

Not like the Way house, the house looks lived in. It has a past, it has feelings. It's a _family_ house.

 

The two boys walk inside the house and the first thing he sees is a family living room. The entire house is covered in photographs. The home is a little dark, but it kind of works with the house. If the house was bright colored it wouldn't look right. The family living room is fairly small, with a couch, a coffee table, and a television. There's also a shelf with more photographs and a few movies. From all the photographs, Frank's guessing the family is large. Unlike his tiny little family, that never sees each other and most of them hate each other, too.

 

“My house is kind of weird,” Mikey mumbled laughing at himself, “we're all a little strange.”

 

The words took comfort to Frank, feeling like Mikey is a trusting person, “it's cool. Everyone is strange.”

 

They make their way into the kitchen to start up their project and it makes Frank's throat close. He doesn't like kitchens. What makes it even worse is that there's a giant mirror along the side of the room, making it easy to look at yourself when you're sitting down. Mirrors make Frank sick to his stomach because he can't help but look at himself no matter how badly he doesn't want to look at himself. He fucking hates looking at himself, but there's something inside him that likes to torture himself. It's like a sick game he plays with himself. He can almost feel panic rise inside him, he tries his best to compose himself, he doesn't want to make a total fool of himself in front of someone who he doesn't even know. It's a little embarrassing if he has an episode in front of Mikey.

 

It's a little comical, actually. Mikey is this down to earth, normal guy. He has a nice family, who cares for each other. He has a good home. He's not ashamed to have people over his home, which is something that Frank will never do. He will never let people at his house, in fear they will smell the pain that lingers inside his home. Mikey has no idea what messed up boy is sitting right next to him. He doesn't know he's sitting next to some pathetic teenager who starves himself, someone who doesn't care if they die tomorrow because he's never even lived. Frank just lives inside his own self pity and refuses to let anyone inside. He doesn't have any idea that he gets fucked in the ass by his own teacher. He doesn't know what he does behind closed doors.

 

Yeah, it's fucking hilarious.

 

“So, the project is about the human mind,” Mikey starts up, causing Frank to jump from the sudden voice coming through the room.

 

“My brother's bringing us home a few books that we can read so we have a better idea of what the fuck we're talking about.”

 

“I like books.” Frank mumbled back to Mikey, not looking anywhere but the mirror staring back at him.

 

_The man in the mirror._

 

Just like it was a bad movie, the door opens and Frank guesses that it's Mikey's brother. All he hears is keys and a grumble coming from the living room.

 

“Mikey! Come help me with this shit!” The mystery man yells into the house and Mikey rolls his eyes and gets up, going to his brother to help him with whatever is in his hands.

 

Frank's left alone in the kitchen and it feels dangerous. He's left alone with his own thoughts and sometimes that can be pretty dangerous for him. He shouldn't ever be left alone with his thoughts a mirror looking back at him. It never ends well. Frank keeps looking at himself, seeing new problems that he's starting to see in himself. His face is fucking huge. His cheeks chubby and he can swear he can see a double chin forming. He's angry and wants to punch the damn mirror, but stops himself. It's not his house to do that type of destruction. He's so fucking mad, he thought he was loosing weight. He hasn't had a damn thing in days besides water. How can his face be fat? Why can't he enjoy what he sees when he's looking at the mirror?

 

The sounds of chatter and feet walking stop his thoughts and he finally takes his eyes off himself and looks up to see Mikey and his brother. Frank's heart stops, his blood is frozen and he officially lost all voice left inside him. If he was able to move his feet he would run to the bathroom to throw up.

 

It's the eyes, the caring, loving, beautiful hazel eyes that Frank's sees in his dreams.

 

“Hey, I'm Gerard.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ughhh im so sorry this is so short! i was doing everything i could to pull this out! i hope it doesn't suck!

The boy looks so broken, so sad, so _pathetic._ He looks even worse than what his brother told him. He is heart broken for the boy, he looks like he's going to break any second; that he's hanging by a thread. His body is screaming for someone to help him, but everyone is just looking past him without a care in the world. No one sees how truly broken this boy really is. But the only problem is that Gerard can _see_ the pain. He can see the help that he needs without him even barely speaking. It's funny when you've been there before, you almost get a redar for it. You can sense the pain, you can sense it when someone needs help. Gerard can feel it inside him that this boy is in need of some serious help. His eyes are dark, his eyes are sad.

He barely looked up when Gerard introduced himself to Mikey's classmate. He just smiled and mumbled his name like he hates to hear his own voice. The average Joe would feel awkward and probably just let the boy sulk inside his own self pity but luckily for Frank, Gerard isn't the average Joe and he sees more than the average eye. Within a few seconds of looking at the boy, Gerard can automatically tell that this boy is doing some serious self destruction to himself. His face is sunken in, his arms are extremely small and frail; he doesn't even know how this guy finds the strength to even walk. He looks like he's going to fall over at any second. It's pretty depressing to look at. It's actually breaking Gerard's heart to see such disaster sitting in his kitchen.

“Do you guys need help with your homework?” Gerard asked the two boys, trying to break the silence that was filling the room, Gerard hates silence.

“I don't even feel like doing it anymore. Hey Frank, you want to finish this up tomorrow or something?” Mikey whined, clearly loosing his drive to finish his homework.

“You two want to grab something to eat then?” Gerard said back to his younger brother. Mikey's eye lit up while Frank looked like he just saw a ghost and it truly puzzled Gerard as to why offering free food would scare the living shit out of him.

Mikey didn't even give the other boy a chance to answer, because before he knew it Mikey was putting on his shoes and grabbing Frank. Frank just obeyed with whatever Mikey was doing. Gerard can fully understand Frank's confused and shocked expressions, Mikey can be extremely over zealous sometimes and even after all of these years, it can still shock the shit out of Gerard.

The drive to the pizza place was awkward, not for Mikey at least. Gerard can sense something off with Frank and he's going to whatever it takes to find out what is going on with him. The entire drive Mikey just kept talking about random shit as Gerard kept his eyes on the road, nodding his head to whatever Mikey was talking about. He was mostly talking about whatever song was on the radio, some random fact about whatever band is playing on in his car. Frank is in the backseat looking out the window with anxiety written all over his face. It's almost like he's not even in this world, he's inside his own mind and he's not leaving the world he's created for himself. His world of self hate and depression, refusing to let anyone in his world of secrets of whatever is going on with the boy.

Gerard can't stop thinking about it and he can't help but wonder what issues the boy is having. Does he have an abusive household? Is he getting poor treatment at home? His parents don't feed him? That could be why he's so skinny and timid. He doesn't think Frank is getting abused though, he's a little old to have that happen. He's old enough to stand up for himself, so he's ruling getting abused by a family member out. But they might be extremely poor if he's so skinny that he can't eat at home. Gerard just wants to _ask_ him but he knows that he can't just ask him why he's so skinny and timid all the time. If he's not getting fed at home he's obviously not going to open up to two people he barely knows and tell them his financial issues he has at home. He's been Frank before, he knows exactly what he needs to do to gain his trust and soon Frank will be able to trust Gerard and tell him everything that is going on with him. Soon Gerard will gain the trust from Frank, it will happen. Gerard knows he can get through to this kid and make him realize that he's a beautiful person. Gerard is going to show him just how beautiful he is. He's very much beautiful and he needs to be shown just how beautiful he really is. He needs love, he needs someone to hold him and never let him go. Gerard can do that for him.

The three of the them finally arrived to the pizza place. The same place the Way boys have been going since they were kids with their grandparents and parents. It's always been a good place to bring two young boys. After all, they are in New Jersey, where having pizza everyday is pretty normal. You might actually get funny looks if you said you're from New Jersey and that you don't like pizza. Needless to say, the Way family grew up on pizza and even as adults, they still love pizza and still eat pizza at least weekly to this day.

Frank's anxiety got worse once we entered the place. He looks so fucking scared like he doesn't belong there. Like if he's going to a fucking pizza place will get him stoned to death and it sets alarms up inside his head. Gerard guides Frank to a table, he picked a table in the corner. He felt like that will be what Frank would want, seeing he doesn't like to be seen. He gave Mikey his wallet and told him to get “whatever” he wants to them all so he can sit down with Frank and at least try to get something out of him. Maybe at least explain why he's body went into shock when he mentioned to get food with him and his brother.

Maybe he doesn't like the Way brothers? That could be a good reason as to why he's not talking to them or even making any eye contact with them; but he doesn't look at _anyone_. He just keeps his head down and doesn't speak unless someone else talks to him, and even asking Frank a question or talking to him can be a total chore. He just doesn't want to talk to anyone and stays inside his own mind, being tortured with whatever is going on with him.

“I had Mikey buy the pizza for us, he can be a little too hyper sometimes. Sorry if he scares you.” Gerard said to Frank as they both sat down, trying to make a joke with Frank, flashing a smile to show Frank that he's not being all too serious.

Gerard finally gets a better look at Frank. His eyes are very bright, they are hazel just like his own eyes. His hair is dark brown and only a little long. It looks like he got a hair cut about 3 months ago. His hair looks pretty thin though, it looks like it could fall out at any second. His body frame is small but you can clearly tell the boy isn't naturally a skinny person. He can get some meat on him and look very good. Gerard once looked like Frank a few years back and it's really eye awakening to pretty much see a mirror reflection of himself.

“It's cool,” Frank finally said back to Gerard.

“Are you okay with plain pizza? I didn't even ask what kind you like before I told Mikey to get it.” Gerard said, trying to pull a conversation in.

“Whatever is fine.”

It's the most that Gerard can probably get out of him. He's looking down at his hands which are in his lap. His fingers looked chewed up to shit. His finger tips are red from Frank peeing skin off him. From the looks of it, you can tell that Frank has been doing this for many years. Within seconds Frank starts to pick at his left ring finger, pulling and picking at the skin near his nail. Not looking anywhere but his hands. His hands are shaking too; he's clearly nervous right now. He remembers reading a few books on nervous habits and skin picking was one of them. It's Frank's way of dealing with situations that make him nervous. His anxiety is so bad that it causes him to pick at his skin to calm his nerves.

“Why do you pick at your fingers so much?”

Gerard was hoping to get a response out of the boy but he doesn't say anything back to him. He just shrugs his shoulders and keeps picking at his skin. Gerard could swear he's seeing blood form from the finger that Frank is abusing. His hands keep shaking even worse now that someone has said something about his little habit.

Gerard takes a giant leap and puts his hand on his thigh, “you don't need to be nervous Frank. There's no need to be anxious around me,” he says to him with a warm smile to Frank.

The sudden human contact causes Frank to jump. He looks up and his eyes meet Gerard's; his hand hasn't left Frank's thigh. Gerard's eyes are still very warm and looking right inside Frank's eyes. Their eyes doing the talking, Gerard's telling Frank everything will be okay and he's there for Frank.

For a second, Gerard could swear he sees a smile form on Frank's thin lips.

 


	5. Chatper 5

Getting Frank to open up is a lot harder than Gerard thought. The boy is extremely distant towards, well, _everyone_. He doesn't let anyone in. Gerard told Mikey to invite the boy over whenever he can, but Mikey never comes home from school with the quiet, timid boy. He comes home alone and just shakes his head, telling Gerard that Frank made up some excuse as to why he can't come over. They're the worst excuses he's ever heard of, too. He always claims he's got to stay after school, and when Mikey offers to wait he says he's got to go straight home after school because last time his mother didn't hear from him she freaked out. Gerard can believe his mom freaking out on him, because he's a teenage boy and mothers like to know where their sons are, but he says he's got to stay after school _everyday_. He tells Mikey that he has no computer at home so he tries to do his homework at school, who the fuck doesn't have a computer at home anymore? It just seems like a lame excuse and in a way it angers Gerard. He just wants to help the boy, that's all. He's trying everything in his power to help him.

 

Gerard knows that he can't help anyone that doesn't want to be helped, but it doesn't stop him from trying to help him. He's not going to give up on him, not just yet. He sees something in Frank. Something in Frank that draws Gerard towards him.

 

* * *

 

 

The book store is _slow_ today. It's painfully slow. He hasn't seen a soul walk in the store in hours. He's doing everything that he can to keep his eyes open. He's done everything that needs to be done and more, which says a lot because if Gerard doesn't have to do it, he _does not_ do it. Gerard can fully admit that he's painfully lazy most of the time and owning a book store forces him to do things and that just drains the life out of Gerard.

 

Gerard's mind keeps going back to Frank, he doesn't know anything about the boy and it drives Gerard mad. Mikey thinks Gerard is just bored and lonely and wants something to do. Which might be true. It would give Gerard some sort of purpose. Gerard's always loved helping people out. Whenever he can help someone out he does, because he knows all too well how lonely it feels to have no one. It _sucks,_ it _hurts_. It's painful to know that no one is there for you and the few people that are in your life are annoyed with your self pity. It makes you feel even more alone. Even more depressed. It pains your heart to feel alone. Ever since Gerard got out of his dark place he's made a promise that whenever he sees someone who is in need to help them. He wants to give back and more, he wants to be the person he wanted when he needed someone.

 

At 4:30PM Gerard decided he's been sitting around looking at the wall for far too long and went outside the little shop to smoke a cigarette. It's such a terrible habit and he knows he should quit but he knows if he tries to at this point a possibility of a relapse might occur and he would rather smoke a million cigarettes than to go back to his old drug addiction. He's very proud of himself for staying clean and he doesn't want to go back to the point of his life. He's much happier clean and sober.

 

Gerard needs to get his mind off Frank. He knows this, but he just can't. Even when he's smoking and at work his mind always go back to him. It's unhealthy but he can't help it. His thoughts are filled with Frank. Whenever Gerard seeks his teeth into something he needs it all. It's all or nothing and he needs all of Frank. He needs to get him out of his dark place. He needs to save Frank before it's too late. His biggest fear is coming home from work and Mikey telling him that the boy took his own life. Gerard would never forgive himself for letting that happen. He would never live with himself knowing he was trying so hard to help him and he failed. He doesn't want to be a failure. He needs to do this.

 

Just as Gerard was finished with his cigarette he sees Mikey walking down the sidewalk over to the store, which kind of alarms him. Mikey never comes here unless he has to. Mikey is a teenager, the last thing he wants to do is come to his brother's book store to hang out with his weird older brother. Not saying Gerard and Mikey don't get along, they _do_. It's just Mikey and Gerard are at different points in their lives. Gerard is an adult; he goes to work and goes home. He doesn't party anymore and he's totally fine with spending a Friday night sitting at home reading or writing a comic book that he has inside his mind. Mikey would rather go out with his friends and drink or something. He's always on edge whenever Mikey sneaks out to drink. He knows not everyone in the world can become addicted to drinking like he did, but he always gets worried. He tells Mikey all the time whenever he goes out to call him if he gets too drunk and he'll be more than happy to take him home. He knows he has nothing to worry about even though he does, Mikey is a good kid. He's smart and responsible. He's not an idiot like Gerard was.

 

“Hey bro,” Mikey said approaching Gerard.

 

“Hey man, what's up?”

 

“Ah- nothing much. Just leaving school and wanted to say what's up on my way home.” Mikey said back to him as they both went inside the store.

 

“What were you doing at school so late?”

 

“I dunno.”

 

“You don't know?”

 

“I was just hanging after school! What's the big deal?”

 

Sighing, Gerard hopped over the counter, “you never stay after. What's up with you?”

 

“God you're annoying!” Mikey yelled, “I stayed and tried to see why the fuck Frank stays after all the time.”

 

Gerard's heart started to speed up and it felt like his throat was going to close up from being so dry.

 

“And…?”

 

Mikey paused for a minute, not saying anything; which made Gerard go even more insane. Something wasn't right he can feel it in the air that he was breathing. He just knew whatever Mikey had to say wasn't good.

 

“He left his last period classroom limping, it was weird,” Mikey said wrinkling his nose, “then he went straight to the bathroom and it sounded like he was throwing up. It was really strange.”

 

Mikey was saying it like it wasn't really a big deal but to Gerard it broke his heart in half. What the fuck was going on with him? What is Frank hiding from the world? Was he being abused like he thought so? Maybe Frank was just sick. Mikey said Frank takes off school a lot because he's always sick. He might just be sick.

 

But what if something is happening to him? What if his teacher is doing something to him? That's an insane thought, though. You only hear about teachers hurting students in crappy Lifetime movies. You never hear that kind of shit happening in real life. That's just something that only happens in the movies and in some random ass small town far away that no one's ever heard of. You never hear about that happening to someone you actually knew though. There's no way that someone in a higher power like a high school hurting someone like Frank.

 

* * *

 

 

Frank's lip is bleeding from biting it so hard, he can't even see from all the tears in his eyes. Not that he wants to see anyway, he just wants to be _anywhere_ but here. He wants to scream until his lung are empty but his mouth is stuffed with a scarf. He feels liquid fall down his pale thighs and he knows exactly what it was. It was blood. He feels close to passing out but he's fighting to stay awake, scared if he passes out that even worse is going to happen to him if he isn't awake to attempt to break free. The blood scares him, because he broke skin and he's still going strong. He's still hitting him hard, he doesn't care about the blood. He loves the blood.

 

“You've been such a bad boy, Frank,” Anderson said leaning over, whispering inside his ear which causes Frank to cry even harder, through muffled noises he tries to tell him to stop, begging for forgiveness for cutting Anderson's class. He knew he was going to get caught too. But he was feeling like shit yesterday and he just wanted to go straight home and lay inside his bed until he was forced to get up. He didn't want to get hurt and violated by the older man. He just didn't _want_ to be in the same room as his abuser. He didn't want to be hurt that day, he just wanted _one_ day where he didn't have his afternoon filled with pain.

 

That leads Frank here, bent over his teachers desk with his pants pooled at his ankles, his ass stinging from his teachers belt. The first few weren't so bad, but then a fire rose up inside his evil teacher and had no mercy on the boy. He went harder and harder, even moving the belt so the metal part was piercing into Frank's sore ass. At first Frank screamed, begging for anyone to hear him but then he gagged him so no one could hear him scream. After he gagged him, his teacher went even harder on him. The only sounds in the room were Frank's cries and the loud smack of the belt hitting into Frank's pale skin. Each time killing Frank even more.

 

Frank feels so fucking helpless. He hasn't stopped hitting him. He lost count at 30 hits. He stopped counting, scared to know the number that his teacher will stop at.

 

“Have you learned your lesson, Frank?” His teacher said, taunting him. Frank doesn't see him but he knows he's looking right at Frank, admiring his disgusting work. He gets off looking at all the blood. He loves it, gets off on it. Knowing he caused the blood to form out of Frank's body is like some cheap high for the older man. Frank attempts to muffle out a yes but he can't speak so he nods his head quickly.

 

“Have you _really_ learned though, Frankie?” Anderson said finally letting the belt leave his hand, Frank silently sighed of relief that he finally stopped hitting him and that his ass can take a break already. Wasn't the belt enough of a punishment? Did he really have to continue to hurt him? Hasn't he been through enough? Frank doesn't know if his heart can take anymore pain. He doesn't know if he can handle it, he might actually break. Both physically and mentally. It's all killing Frank.

 

Grabbing Frank's hair, yanking his head up so his neck is exposed his teacher continues, “I don't think you did.” He hissed, slamming the boys head down on the desk, leaving his teacher laughing at Frank's pathetic moans of pain.

 

Frank's body feels like it's going to split in half the second he feels his teacher enter inside him. His teacher doesn't bother to let Frank's body get used to the invasion, he goes in hard and he keeps his rough pace. He feels like he's going to throw up when he hears his teacher's disgusting moans of pleasure. Frank closes his eyes and pretends he's somewhere else. He usually does this when his teacher rapes him violently. He pretends he's at the book store, the one that Mikey Way's brother owns. He feels guilt, he knows Gerard wants to help him, but he lost his voice a long time ago and he doesn't know how to stand up for himself. He doesn't know how he can start telling Gerard all the messed up shit in Frank's life. He knows for a fact that once Gerard hears Frank open up that Gerard is going to give up and tell Frank he's a lost cause. He's meant for this, he deserves this pain.

 

Anderson grabs Frank's hip roughly, leaving a bruise for reminder and Frank knows that he's close and he's going to be finished soon and Frank is thankful for that. He always throws Frank away like a cheap whore when he's done with him, telling Frank to get dressed and get the fuck out of his classroom. It's like music to Frank's ears because than he can leave and run home and cry like a little girl until he gets tired and goes to sleep. It's a pathetic routine that he has.

 

He feels Anderson's disgusting seed invade his body and he knows in a few minutes he's going to be free and go home. Hide himself inside his walls.

 

“Get the fuck out, you disgusting fat whore.”

 

* * *

 

 

It's been less than a week since Frank's teacher has found a new way to harm him and Frank is falling deeper and deeper in depression and he can't even get out of bed anymore without being screamed at by his mother. Anderson's new thing to do is hit Frank with a belt so many times there's a pool of blood and than destroys his body even more by raping him roughly. He doesn't know how much more he can take. He can't sit in class without the burning feeling on his backside. Taking a shower and going to the bathroom is actual hell for Frank. Does his teacher want him to die? Is that what he's trying to do? Was Frank really not worthy of living and his teacher is just showing him what he's worth?

 

That's all what is on Frank's mind now; death. He wants to die, he just doesn't want this anymore. He doesn't want to be pain anymore, physically and mentally. He's never wanted to _actually_ die. He's always hated himself, sure. But he's always had some weird sort of hope. He's always wanted to at least exist. He doesn't want to live, but exist. He prayed for a day that he got a new look on this pathetic world he's living in. He wanted to have some hope that someone will save him, someone will be willing to help his pathetic, disgusting soul.

 

Frank is losing all hope though. He feels nothing is worth living anymore. He has no reason to keep going on. Why should he keep living? So he can get hurt more? So he can starve himself more so he can try to be as skinny as everyone else? He can't even be skinny. He just can't do anything right.

 

The pills started to take full effect on Frank and he feels numb for the first time in his entire life. His whole life has been filled with nothing but pain and misery. His mother tried to numb him, she really did. But it didn't work, she still hurt him. She didn't mean to, Frank knows this. All Frank's known was pain. He doesn't know anything else. He can't remember the last time he was happy and right now, he doesn't remember anything and feel anything and Frank enjoys this. His body feels like noodles and he smiles. Hoping that his body takes a turn for the worse and he overdoses and his pain is ended and he can finally be at peace within himself. All he wants is to feel free like everyone else gets to feel. The only way Frank can achieve this was death and that's exactly his plan he has. He doesn't even know what the pills he took were. He found them in his bathroom and decided to just take them all, praying that one of them will be strong enough to do the job and finally kill him so he's no longer suffering.

 

He swallows two more pills and decides he doesn't want his mother to find him and wobbles his way out of his house. He was quiet, so quiet that his mother didn't even hear him leave and that's exactly what he wanted. He knows his mother would notice his state and would try to help him and call 911 or something and that's the last thing he wants his mother to do. For once, _finally_ Frank is in full control over himself. He's deciding himself that he doesn't want to live anymore and he gets to take his life away. Anderson doesn't get to do that, Anderson wanted to be one to kill Frank but he's been fooled. Frank gets to do that.

 

His vision is blurry now and he can't even see his legs. He doesn't know where the fuck he is, but he knows he's outside because he hears the faint sound of cars. He knows he's not inside his neighborhood anymore from the sounds of multiple cars. He knows he's in fact in town but his eyes aren't working. He can't see 2 feet in front of him. He just sees faint shapes and a few colors. Is this was your body does when its dying? Is he finally getting his wish and dying?

 

His legs give out finally and he falls, his head smacking the cement. His body fully stops moving and he can't move at all even if he wanted to. His legs officially stopped working, it's only a matter of time before his heart stops working and he's out of his misery for good. A pair of hands touch Frank and he wants to scream but his voice is gone. There's nothing he can do, he can't do anything. The drugs have done the trick.

 

He's paralyzed; all he sees are a pair of beautiful hazel eyes and a mop of black hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry this took so long for the update. I hope you all enjoyed this <3 I finally finished writing it at 4am so im really sorry if there's any mistakes. I feel like im gonna fall asleep at my computer lol<3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to rush this soo fast so im so sorry its shitty meh :( thank you to everyone who comments and says such nice things about this. you are all so amazing <3 thank you so much!

A headache and achy body was an understatement for Frank. His entire body was in so much _pain_. More pain than he thought he could bare. It felt like someone took a rock and smashed it over his head a million times, he's in so much fucking pain. The pain Anderson causes is nothing compared to what Frank's feeling now. He couldn't open his eyes. He can't even move for that matter. He has no clue where the fuck he is either, the only thing he can see is black. He can hear muffled voices and foot steps. No matter how hard he tries he just can't open his eyes, his eyelids feel sewed shut. He thinks that's a good thing, too, because wherever he is he doesn't feel like explaining what happened; he can't even remember right now. His brain is way too fuzzy.

 

Was he dead? Did he finally do it?

 

“I wasn't going to take him to the hospital, I know exactly how to handle these situations.”

 

“He needs help, Gee. You can't help him when he's like this...”

 

“Yes I can!”

 

Where the fuck was he? He knows now that he's not dead because he's pretty sure death isn't two men bickering about him and what's best for him.

 

The last thing Frank remembers is going into the bathroom and taking all the pills inside his cabinet and praying that whatever one he took would take away all the pain inside his mind and body. He just can't take it anymore. His entire life is out of control and he can't get any control on his life. He tries, he really does. But nothing ever seems to go the way that he wants it to. He was completely fine with his life being a mask, attempting to show the world that he was fine when he clearly wasn't. Having the entire world think that he actually eats so he can finally be skinny like the rest of the world. Behind closed doors is no one's business. He was fine with that, too. He's fine with his secrets. He doesn't want anyone to know what's going on with him. He tired, he's so fucking tired; mentally and physically.

 

Then Anderson sunk his teeth into Frank and now he can't get above water. He's drowning and no one fucking notices and no one fucking gives a shit, either. Anderson took it all away from him. He can't leave Anderson's grip in fear he will tell someone about his disorder. He _can't_ let anyone know about it. His mother mostly. She would freak the fuck out. She would blame herself and lock him away for life. She already locks him up enough as it is. She tries so hard to protect him, she always does everything she can to protect him from the dangers of the world. Little does she know the most dangerous place for Frank is inside is his own head and bed room. He doesn't want to give his mother any pain, no matter how nuts she is and over protected she is. She doesn't deserve pain. Frank just wants all the pain in him, he's the one who deserves the pain.

 

Everyone seems to know exactly what is best for Frank but himself. Everyone knows what he needs, Anderson thinks he knows what's best for Frank, his mother thinks she knows what's best for Frank. She wants him to go to law school and become exactly what he doesn't want to become. No one cares to know what Frank wants. All the people in his life don't realize they are the people who drove him to where he is now.

 

That's where he's left off here. Everyone pushed him way too far, he can't do it anymore. That's why he took all those pills, to make it all stop. To make the pain end finally. He just wants to be at peace within himself. He can't do it anymore, the pain just got too much. He just want to be in pain, he's sick of it. He would rather _die_ than speak out about what's going on inside his mind.

 

* * *

 

 

It seemed like a few hours went by and Frank can finally open up his eyes. Everything is just blurry and he still can't figure out where he is. The room he's in is dark, but not pure blackness dark. He figures it's nighttime if it's so dark outside. He doesn't know what room he's in, he's never seen it before. Frank attempts to move his head to get up because he really has to take a piss, but it takes a few efforts to get himself moving. After a few tries he can swing his feet onto the floor which was really close to the ground. He's defiantly not in his room, his bed is way too high off the ground. This room, _wherever he is,_ is like it's just a mattress on the floor. His vision is a little better now and he can finally make out the room he's in. The walls are a pale color with random shit scattered all over. It looks almost like an organized chaos. The room looks like it's a total mess but if you look a little closer you can tell that the person who lives here knows exactly where everything is. He's very thankful that when he moved his feet to the ground he was on carpet because his feet are freezing, his entire body is freezing for that matter.

 

Frank looks down at himself and realizes he's not wearing his own clothes and he starts to panic. Was he at _Anderson's_? Did he find him and take him to his house? Was he just tortured for hours without him knowing? What also freaks him out, is wherever he is and whoever found him saw him without any clothes on. He doesn't want anyone to see him without clothes. Anderson never makes Frank take off his shirt only his pants. He doesn't have any use for Frank's upper body, he only wants his lower half to abuse. He would just mock his weight anyway if he saw what disgusting figure is under his clothes. Frank's wearing a big pair of plaid pajama pants and a black Iron Maiden t-shirt. He doesn't listen to Iron Maiden and he doesn't know anyone who does, so where the hell is he?

 

Just as he was about to get up and explore the room he's in he heard foot steps walking down. He assumes he's in a basement which would make sense why the room is so large, as well. He decided not to move and to wait to see who captured him. He's pretty angry if he was going to be honest. He didn't want to be saved, he was so close to being dead finally. Whoever saved him had no right to do this to him. Why couldn't the random person just leave him to die?

 

“Oh, you're awake.” Frank heard with his head down and he looked up and almost choked on his own spit. It was Gerard. Mikey's brother, Gerard.

 

“I-I am.” Frank rasped out. His throat completely dry from being asleep for so long.

 

“I found you at my store. You wondered over there just as I was closing up.”

 

“Why didn't you-”

 

“I wasn't going to leave you there, Frank. You need help.” Gerard said simply, cutting Frank off and sitting down on the bed next to him. Frank's heart beat was speeding up from being so close to Gerard.

 

“Where are my clothes?” Frank asked, not looking at Gerard from shame.

 

“It was raining out- you would get seriously sick if I left you in your clothes. I changed you when I got you here and I knew you were going to be fine.”

 

“Oh...”

 

Gerard didn't say anything after that. Instead he took Frank's hand and held it tight, silently telling him that he's not alone and that Gerard is here for him. They didn't need any words either and for that Frank was thankful because the last thing he wants to do is to talk about what happened. He doesn't want to pour his heart out on some guy he doesn't really even know that well. He only met Gerard a few times and even though he feels like Gerard isn't like anyone else and that he's a good guy who's not an asshole who's trying to ruin his life, he just can't tell Gerard everything that's going on with himself.

 

They sat like this for about 20 minutes, Frank was enjoying the comfort Gerard was giving him. He started to hug Frank and rub small circles on his back. Frank felt a small tear escape his eye. The reality finally hit him with what's going on. He almost died. He was about to be left for dead until Frank went to Gerard. Somewhere inside him he went to that store for that reason. He stumbled there for a reason and the reason was because Gerard was there. As much as he wanted to die and get the pain over with. He went to Gerard's store in hopes he would find Gerard there and he would take him and save him.

 

So many questions were circling Frank's mind but he didn't ask Gerard them. Why didn't he take him to the hospital? Did he see the marks on his back and ass? Was he going to ask Frank about them? Frank doesn't even know what he would say if Gerard even asked him about it. He doesn't want to lie to Gerard after him being so nice to him. He doesn't want to lie about what's been going on but he doesn't know if Gerard is going to laugh at him or be disgusted with him. He's already disgusted with himself enough as it is. He's so scared that Gerard will take him to a _real_ hospital and force him to get help. He doesn't need any doctors or shrinks trying to figure out what's going on in his mind. He doesn't need anyone to try to figure him out. He just wants what's going on right now, he just wants to be in Gerard's room with him holding him. This is enough for him.

 

“You're going to be okay, Frank.” Gerard whispered, breaking the silence. “I'm going to make sure of it.”

 

Gerard broke their embrace and looked inside his eyes. Frank never realized his beautiful they were. They were warm and passionate. They had life to them, they were light and sparkling even in the darkness. His skin is so smooth and pale and just beautiful.

 

“I'm not going to ask you why you did it,” Gerard mumbled looking at Frank with a small frown, “and I'm not going to ask you about all the busies and cuts, but I'm going to hope that one day you can trust me enough to tell me.”

 

For the first time in Frank's life, he felt his heart flutter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i rushed this really fast so im really sorry.. it's too fucking hot for me right now. I hope you all enjoy this update. love to you all <3

“Stop your fucking crying, Frank!” Anderson belted out as he slammed inside Frank with full force, giving the boy no mercy.

 

The abuse hasn't stopped since Gerard found him almost dead. He spent that day hiding away in Gerard's room while Gerard waited on Frank's every need. It felt so nice having someone coddle him. It felt so nice to be loved and _wanted._ Frank didn't want it to end but he knew he had to return home before his mother was going to call out the SWAT team to find him. When he got home that night his mother cried to him, saying how worried she was. He didn't even have his cell on him to even phone her. He didn't want to phone her, but he couldn't tell her that. He couldn't tell her he wanted to die. She would blame herself, then throw him in a mental house to try to get him better. The only therapy he needs is at Gerard's house. He's insanely drawn to Gerard, like a lost puppy. Every day after Anderson invades his body he goes to Gerard's store and just _hangs_ there. He doesn't even talk, he just listens to Gerard talk about his day. He doesn't mind, Gerard says. He said he's glad he gets a few smiles out of Frank for the time being before he has to go home and hide away in his room and face the reality of what his life really is. Gerard is an amazing escape. He doesn't push Frank, he doesn't force anything out of him. It feels so good to have something to look forward to instead of something to dread.

 

But right now, he's not near Gerard and his weird stories about aliens and random theories about zombies. All he could do is think about Gerard until the pain ends.

 

“You're such a pathetic boy, Frankie,” Anderson whispered against Frank's ear as he slipped out of Frank's abused hole. Frank moaned at his words and limped his way off the old desk he was just leaning over and started to put on his pants and getting ready to leave like he always does.

 

“Not today, Frankie baby, you're not leaving just yet,” Anderson said stopping Frank finish getting dressed. He was so confused. What else did he want? He got everything else he wanted out of Frank. What else could he possibly do? He whipped Frank 25 times, leaving Frank a crying bloody mess and then bent him over to make the pain even worse for him. There was nothing else he would do to Frank. He didn't think so, at least. Unless he going to finally kill him and end his pain once and for all.

 

“Please – let me go,” Frank begged cowering away from the older man, trying to leave the empty classroom.

 

“Why do you want to leave so badly, huh? I thought I was one of your favorite teachers?” He cooed like he almost believed his own filthy words. Frank wanted to punch the man in the face. How can he fucking say that? After all he's done to Frank? Is he testing him? Seeing if he has any fight left inside him?

 

“I fucking hate you!” Frank cried out, pulling his pants on. “You ruined me!”

 

Anderson snorted and pushed Frank against the wall harshly making Frank moan from the pain in his back. He didn't stop from there though, he punched the younger boy hard in the stomach causing an unbearable pain in his stomach, Frank belted over in pain, clutching his stomach, spit up and bile running out of his mouth and onto the floor.

 

“You think I'm so horrible, huh?” Anderson taunted, lifting the small boy up so he's standing up straight. “I'll fucking show you horrible.” he mumbled, going over to his desk and pulling out an xacto knife. He recognizes it from Gerard's shop, he uses one to open the boxes of new books whenever he has to restock. Frank is very confused right now. Was he going to stab Frank? Was he going to skin him alive and make him suffer slowly as he bleeds out slow to death?

 

“Fat, depressed fucking loser, show me how miserable I make you, come on, Frankie, make yourself bleed.” Anderson hissed, tossing Frank the knife. Puzzled, Frank just looked at the object that was thrown at him. Was he really expecting Frank to cut himself in front of him? He never thought about hurting himself like this. He was fine with starving himself. The hunger pains were a pleasure for him. Cutting his skin open wouldn't give him that feeling so why would he do that? Why does his disgusting teacher want to watch him do it? Frank feels like he's frozen in time and he's in some shitty movie that is way to unrealistic to actually be true. Sadly that's not the case, this is real life. This is what's really happening to Frank. How did he lost control of his life so badly? How did he let it get this bad?

 

“Why do you want me to do this to myself?” Frank whispered as a tear fell down his face, the reality of how bad he let his life get setting in. He needs to do something, he needs to find strength inside himself somehow but he doesn't know how to to. He feels so fucking pathetic. Was he really worthless? Is this all his life is good for? It really must be because why else would his life become such a mess?

 

Anderson just laughs at his pleas, “if I were you I would stop asking questions before I give you another whipping.” Frank tenses up and starts to already feel the pain in his ass from the belt hitting his skin.

 

Frank's hands start to shake and he glances at his teacher, he's watching his every move, waiting for Frank to give into him. He closes his eyes, he wants to pretend that he's not here and he's at Gerard's house. He slowly puts the knife on his pale skin, the metal is cold on his skin and it causes him to shutter as he slowly presses down on his skin. He's never felt so humiliated in his entire life. He hasn't even drew blood yet and he feels like he's going to throw up.

 

“I'm waiting.”

 

Frank's eyes tear up and he finally presses down hard enough that he drew blood finally. His sobs become more louder as he makes a few more deep lines on his skin, the blood flowing out freely falling onto the floor. Frank feels like his chest is about to cave in, this is his life. He doesn't have anything else to live for. He's officially given up. He lost everything, he doesn't even have his self respect anymore. What pathetic whore lets his teacher rape him daily and now controls his emotions? He's lost it all. He had some self respect left but now? It's all over.

 

It's fucking over.

 

“Stop getting blood all over the floor!” his teacher yelled smacking Frank across the face hard, sniffing from crying and sobbing Frank just nods his head and leaves the classroom, feeling defeated.

 

* * *

 

 

Frank tries to get the bleeding to stop as he walks his way from the school to Gerard's shop. He knows Gerard will make it better, he always makes everything better for him. He never judges him, he doesn't laugh at Frank or call him names. He doesn't say he's _fat_. He's the reason Frank is still here. No matter what happens to him he knows he has Gerard and that's enough to keep him alive and keep trying to get himself be better. Even though Gerard still doesn't know anything that goes on with Frank he still doesn't push it on him. He's happy waiting for Frank to come to him about everything. He's slowly building Frank's trust.

But Frank's eyes start to water from the guilt. Gerard has been nothing but amazing to him, helps him whenever he needs him. Frank could call Gerard at 5AM and Gerard will be at Frank's house, ready to help him. Frank feels so horrible, Gerard just wants to help. He wants to help him, make him better and not hurt anymore. Yet Frank keeps his horrible secrets from Gerard leaving Gerard with a heavy heart.

 

“Hey, Franki – oh my god, Frank!” Gerard yells as Frank enters the store. The blood was still flowing from his arms as he entered the store. No matter what he did he couldn't get the blood to stop, the cuts were pretty deep and he didn't have a hoodie to cover it up and he knew he would have no other choice but to let Gerard see the cuts on his arms.

 

“It's not what it looks like...” Frank whispered, keeping his head low.

 

“Frankie, why?” Gerard said, holding Frank's arm, his fingers tracing over his bloody wounds.

 

Sighing, Frank let his guard down. He let it all go, he has nothing else to lose, he trusts Gerard. He knows Gerard isn't bad. He's been nothing but amazing to Frank. He hasn't giving up on Frank, he can't give up on himself. He has something to live for as long Gerard's here. “Gerard, someone's been hurting me. They made me do this… and – and other things.”

 

Gerard's face turns red, anger boiling his blood. “Who?”

 

Frank keeps his head low, his head was already spinning from even saying as much as he did. He doesn't know how he mustered up the words to say what he said to Gerard. It's a little scary seeing how angry Gerard looks. He looks like he's going to blow a gasket if Frank doesn't fess up and tell him who's been hurting him.

 

“Who is hurting you, Frank!” Frank jumped from the sudden anger outburst in his voice.

 

“My – my teacher, Mr. Anderson...” Frank whispered, not wanting to anger Gerard even further than he already is.

 

“The fucking writing teacher?!” Gerard yelled, pacing the room back and forth and it was honestly scaring the shit out of Frank. He doesn't know why Gerard was so angry. Frank didn't see himself worth it to get so upset because someone is causing him pain.

 

Frank was going to ask Gerard why he was so angry but before he knew it the door to the book store slammed and Gerard was out the door.

 

* * *

 

 

Anger was an understatement. His old teacher was the reason why Frank was so fucking depressed? He's the reason why Frank tried to kill himself? He doesn't need to even hear Frank tell him what he meant by hurting him because it was clear what he's been doing to Frank. All the times Frank comes in the store limping and taking a long time to sit down. It was clear what he's been doing to Frank and he's not going to have Frank relive the pain he's been dealing with to explain to Gerard. He'll let Frank explain and tell him on his own time. But for now all Gerard sees is red and he needs to cause harm on someone and he knows exactly who he's going to do it to.

 

 

He slams on his breaks as he finally made his way to the school he went to years ago. Wasting no time he jumps out his car and runs to the building, remembering exactly where his classroom was when he had the pathetic excuse for a man as a teacher for his last year of high school. He runs up the stairs hoping that he wasn't too late and that the rapist was still here in his classroom.

 

He can't even think straight right now. All he wants is to cause harm to the guy who has been hurting his Frankie. How can someone do this to him? Frank is such a sweet boy. He's so good. He's never met anyone like Frank before. He's a selfless man, a strong man who's been through fucking hell and back and he's still here and doesn't give himself enough credit to dealing with the shit that he's dealt with in his life. Frank needs someone to protect him. To love him and show him how beautiful he really is. He doesn't need some asshole abusing him everyday. Not that anyone deserves it but Frank surely doesn't deserve it.

 

Gerard finally makes his way to the classroom where Frank has been getting abused in for however long he's been dealing with and opens the door roughly, to his delight, the man is still here.

 

“Hey you piece of fucking trash,” Gerard says walking up Anderson, “you like to hurt kids?” he asked pushing Anderson roughly, the teacher doesn't even respond, he just looks at Gerard like he's trying to figure out who he is.

 

“Who the hell are you?” Anderson asks, gaining his balance back.

 

“It doesn't fucking matter who I am you fucking asshole, you're going to fucking pay for what you've done to Frankie.”

 

Something snapped in Gerard and he pounces on the older man like a rabid dog. Punching the man square in the face. Anderson tries to get up from the blow but Gerard doesn't let him and kicks him once he's down in the ribs hard. Gerard doesn't waste any time, all his anger making him black out from his reality and all he can think about is making his guy fucking suffer for what he's done.

 

Anderson is going to fucking pay, he's going to fucking pay for what he's done. Frank won't even think about seeking revenge, so Gerard's going to do it for him.

 

“You're going to fucking pay, and trust me, we're just fucking getting started.” Gerard hissed as he lifted the wounded man up by the collar of his shirt just to throw him down on his desk causing pain in the back of Anderson.

 

Revenge is a beautiful, beautiful thing.


	8. AUTHORS NOTE

Hey everyone, I'm sorry I've been keeping you all out of the loop lately (minus Jatty) but I have to put this on hiatus. I WILL be finishing this. I just can't do it right now due to my OWN body issues. I can't write about these subjects or else it could trigger a bad depression for me. 

I AM writing a 3/4 part story that should be out by tonight. It's pretty heavy, but always full of crazy emotion like all my stuff. 

I'm sorry guys. I just can't risk anything with my body because I'm pregnant. I've been depressed as it is bc of my weight gain. Writing about an eating disorder just doesn't fit me right now. 

I hope you all can understand and not hate me :/


End file.
